12 Hilariously Unfortunate (and Downright Naughty) Drinks Names

It’s one of our greatest joys, finding products that have brilliantly funny unfortunate translations, from Fanny Tuna and Soup for Sluts to Golden Gaytime Ice Cream. As drinks is what we are all about however, here are some of our favourites; some intentional, some definitely not. Enjoy - and let us know if you find any more! 

Vergina Beer

You may have read our article about vagina beer, but it turns out that it existed already! This beer, which was first bottled in 1998 by the Macedonian Thrace Brewery apparently heralded the start of the craft beer trend in Greece. Spoiler: there are no actual ‘verginas’ in it. 

Chateau d’Arse

From a real producer in Fitou, southern France and rather a tasty wine, this red is a blend of Carignan, Grenache and Syrah. You can also find their other wine labels ‘Seigneurie d’Arse’.

The Jew’s Ear Juice

The producers of this Chinese drink explained that nationals refer to themselves as ‘the jews of China’ if they are ambitious and ‘think outside the box’. It’s a drink made with a fungus and they have now apparently decided to rebrand it to ‘Black Fungus Juice’. I think you’ll agree that this sounds way more tasty. Not.

Cunto Wine

Very much a real wine, this Italian tipple ‘Cunto’ made by Alois in Campania is a concentrated red wine made with the lesser known Parallegro grape. ‘Cunto’ means little story or fable in Italian. A little sadly, they’ve now given it a new name ‘Murella’ for the US market. 

4Skins wine

We suspect that this wine name might be deliberate but it really shows the humour of those winemakers from Nova Scotia who are experimenting with hybrids and lesser known grape varieties. Their 4skins wine is a blend of the four top grapes from Nova Scotia: Castel, Marechal Foch, Leon Millot, and Lucie Kuhlmann.

Gross Sauvignon Blanc

Producers Sultz in Austria really should have done a little more research for the name of this wine, which is actually a rather delicious Savvy B.

Fart by Hellena

The word ‘fart’ is Polish for ‘luck’! This lovely looking, fruit-based beverage is so lucky, they’ve covered the label in the word. The fact that it’s produced by a company called Hellena is doubly funny to us, natch. Thanks tastytart.com for the pic.

Urinal Hot Drink

This cranberry based drink that you can have hot or cold does what it says on the tin and helps with bladder problems. We’re not sure how popular it is outside of Poland, however!

Bitch Wine

Beautifully Australian in sentiment, this rich and brooding red wine made from Grenache in the Barossa Valley was so named because ‘life can be a bitch but it’s hard to get upset about it when the wine is so good’. Indeed. 

Ménage à Trois

What do you get when you take three single varietals and leave them alone together? The answer is a ‘luscious threesome’, apparently. This American wine brand is actually pretty decent and its original blend is Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot, though they now produce several other wines. 

You Fuck My Wine

With a name inspired by the song ‘You Fuck My Wine’ by Whodunit, this is quite a serious red wine. Hailing from the French region of Cahors, though it can only be called a vin de France, it's a natural red wine made from Jurançon Noir and a touch of Malbec by producer Mas del Périé, Fabien Jouves.

Penetration Cabernet

Now we’re just getting silly. Naked Winery in Oregon have a range of provocative wine labels from Booty Call Muscat to Foreplay Chardonnay and this ‘solidly satisfying’ Penetration Cabernet that’s not too tannic and heavy. Clever marketing. Well, we noticed it! 

Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale

A big shout out to Gary from the Netherlands for sending us this one! Bier & co also stock multiple other entertaining ranges so if you don’t feel like an Arrogant Bastard then you could try yourself a Flying Dog ‘Raging Bitch’ IPA or ‘Doggie Style’ Pale Ale and if you are searching for more excitement still then an ‘Owl F*ck the Caravan is on Fire!’ Wheat Ale will surely do the trick!

Found any more? Send them to us at sophie@thethreedrinkers.com

If you like this, check our our pieces on Vagina Beer, Sour Toe Cocktail and Would You Drink Dead People?

Premium Californian Wine: 3 Must-Know Producers

What does Californian wine mean to you? In the UK at least, it's not the easiest to find the real gems. I’m talking about those exclusive, hand-made wines; the ones sought after by wine lovers the world over. Strawberry-scented Pinot Noirs, sunshine-in-a-glass Chardonnays and powerful, brooding Cabernets are some of California's wine highlights these days and there are certain producers you can rely on to create something exceptional. Here are three that you should get to know for a real taste of premium California wine: Orin Swift, Talbott Vineyards and Bear Flag.

Orin Swift

Orin Swift is the personal project of esteemed, self-made winemaker Dave Phinney, who has very quickly managed to create one of the most exciting and highly prized, new wave wine brands in California. Named in homage to his parents (Orin was his father’s middle name and Swift, his mother’s maiden name), the winery started as a small project and grew in reputation quickly thanks to Dave’s excellent wines and their iconic, head-turning labels for which he has become known. His particular visual style grew from an appreciation of all kinds of art during his youth, from the fine masters his parents taught him about, to the funky, punky, street art of the ‘80s with which he grew up. This love of art translates to his labels and Dave thinks of each one as a unique piece of art, each with its own story that in turn, helps tell the story of the wine the label adorns. You can listen to the stories yourself by seeking out these Californian gems from Orin Swift:

Sauvignon Blanc

Orin Swift ‘Blank Stare' 2016

California is becoming known for oaked Sauvignon Blancs that turn this zippy grape into something gloriously tropical. Barrel fermented partly in new French oak, this Sauvignon has exciting layers of lime, jasmine and lemon meringue pie with a zinging, fresh core of acidity and a cool mineral spine. Drink it alone or with lightly spiced Thai food.

Find it at Vinum Fine Wines from July for £36

Chardonnay

Orin Swift Mannequin Chardonnay 2016

The idea behind Mannequin was to create a modern, fresh style of Chardonnay while not losing the characteristics that made the world fall in love with this full-bodied grape in the first place. The result is a honeysuckle-scented, golden wine packed with lush notes of vanilla and butter thanks to some delicate oak and lees aging, perfectly balanced by a refreshing vein of lemon rind, apple skin and peach.

Find it at Great Western Wine from July for £41  (or £36.90 in a mixed case of 12)

Cabernet Sauvignon

Orin Swift Palermo Cabernet Sauvignon 2017

Cabernet, along with Chardonnay, was what put California wine on the world wine map after the famous ‘Judgement of Paris’ blind tasting back in 1976 where California took on the French and won. This is exactly the kind of Cabernet that did that: Full-bodied and bold, this is a long and complex wine with generous notes of blackberry, graphite and even tea leaf. Give it some air before drinking and it sings with barbecue beef.

Find it at Wine Rack now or Majestic Wine from July for £49.99 (or £39.99 in a mixed case of 6).

Talbott Vineyards

If you love your dreamy, soft and silky California Pinots and Chardonnays, reach for a wine from Talbott Vineyards. With vines based in the prestigious Santa Lucia Highlands AVA in Monterey County, conditions are cool and mild, perfect for these premium grape varieties. Within the rolling hills surrounding the estate, lies Talbott’s iconic Sleepy Hollow Vineyard. With full control over the growing process and production of wines from this plot, winemaker David Coventry leads the team to lovingly craft the greatest expression possible out of this exceptional fruit. 

Chardonnay

Talbott Vineyards Kali Hart Chardonnay 2018, Monterey

If you’re after a morning sunshine style Chardonnay, then this Kali Hart Chard is it. Crisp and bright thanks to the super cool microclimate where the grapes are grown, this wine showcases tropical notes with a touch of vanilla and an incredibly refreshing finish. Try it with creamy pasta dishes like carbonara or squash ravioli with a sprinkling of parmesan. Delicious!

Find it in store at Majestic wine from July for £24.99 (£19.99 in mixed case of 6) 

Pinot Noir

Talbott Vineyards Kali Hart Pinot Noir 2017, Monterey

Soft and approachable but not without complexity, this Pinot Noir is elegant but generous, with notes of cola nut, cinnamon spice, ripe blackberries and a hint of smoke. Easy-drinking enough to have alone, but it sings with mushrooms and roast chicken with all the trimmings.

Find it in store at Majestic wine from July for £24.99 (£19.99 in a mixed case of 6)  

Bear Flag

Bear Flag wine celebrates the brave souls who stand their ground, grabbing the most out of life and being who they want to be. Aaron Piotte, Bear Flag’s winemaker and a Sonoma County native, thought this spirit would best embody the wines he wanted to make. Choosing to harness the power of the region's wild and untamed vines, he crafts bold and beautiful wines from Zinfandel as well as Cabernet and a plethora of other grapes in honour of those who do not wish to waste one moment of this glorious life.  

Zinfandel

Bear Flag Zinfandel Sonoma County

Zinfandel is California’s flagship grape and the area of Dry Creek Valley is one of the most renowned for it in the whole of California. This is thanks to its day to night temperature swings, which concentrate the aromas and flavours and keep a beefy, flavoursome wine fresh. Concentrated, dark and toasty, with notes of fig jam and blueberry pie this wine is bold, yet brilliant. If it were a person, it would be Marlon Brando and it loves a meaty barbecue.

Find in store at Wine Rack for £24.99 or Majestic for £24.99 (or £22.49 in a mixed case of 6).

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English Sparkling Wines to Rival Champagne: Names You Need To Know

Words by Helena Nicklin

This article produced by Helena was originally written for and published by Luxurious Magazine in January 2020.

You may have heard about the rise of English fizz; you may still be sceptical, but having kept a close eye on the industry over the last sixteen years, I can tell you that we’ve now, officially, nailed it. Our relatively new English wine industry has observed the successes and failures of hundreds of years of winemaking globally, waiting patiently until the time was right; until temperatures had increased just enough to put England on a par climatically with the world’s most famous sparkling wine-producing region. In some parts of the English south coast, the soils are almost identical to those of the Côte des Blancs in Champagne. Couple that with an almost identical climate in places, the same grape varieties, same ‘traditional method’ used, cutting edge equipment, experienced winemakers and vines that are finally coming of age and you’ll see precisely how we are now creating world-class bubbles to rival Champagne and in some cases, dare I say it, outclass it.

The best way to learn about wine is to taste it, so here are a few of the biggest names in English sparkling wine that you absolutely need to know, along with some of their more exclusive, limited-edition wine offerings to seek out.

Jenkyn Place Blanc de Blancs 2015 – Hampshire

If you’re looking for quintessentially English charm, Jenkyn Place, owned by the Bladon family in the North Hampshire Downs, has it in spades. While the family has been making wine with the classic Champagne grapes (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir and Pinot Meunier) since their first vines were planted in 2004, this ‘blanc de blancs’ (with sparkling wines, this usually means made with 100% Chardonnay) is the very first Chardonnay-only wine, thanks to the exceptional quality of the harvest; they didn’t want to blend it! Think ultra-fresh citrus balanced by ripe orchard fruit and shortbread notes with rich, creamy bubbles. An elegant English rose of a wine. RRP £38 from www.jenkynplace.com

Gusbourne Blanc de Blancs 2014 – Kent

As far as awards go, Charlie Holland, winemaker for Gusbourne, has been cleaning up over the past few years. Gusbourne’s wines are consistently excellent with a tell-tale purity that sets them apart from their peers. The blanc de blancs is the flagship wine of the estate, made with 100% Chardonnay and aged for at least forty two months on its lees (the dead yeast cells leftover from fermentation) to give biscuity notes and a rich, creamy texture. This 2014 has an incredibly complex palate packed full of candied fruit and notes of hazelnut and baked apple with a refreshing, mineral core. Fabulous. RRP £59 Gusbourne Website

Hattingley Valley King’s Cuvée 2013 – Hampshire

Another much-loved, family-owned winery in Hampshire that since the very early days have also been winning countless awards. The winemaking team lead by Emma Rice, often like to use a bit of oak for added spice, texture and toastiness and this extremely limited release is no exception. A blend of 70% Chardonnay and 30% Pinot Noir, the wine was barrel fermented and then aged in oak, giving it a weighty feel and a palate rich with sweet spice, waxy lemon peel and fragrant, red apple skin notes. Will age beautifully. RRP £80 Hattingley Valley Website

Harrow & Hope Blanc de Noirs 2015 – Buckinghamshire

This bijou, family-run winery is still pretty new (just 7 years old), but wine has been in the blood of winemaker Henry Laithwaite his entire life. After travelling the world learning how to make it, Henry and his wife Kaye decided to settle back in England, finding an ideal spot in the Chiltern Hills to create their own world-class fizz. While still young, these wines have caught the attention of the top wine writers for their elegant purity and exceptional ageing potential. ‘Blanc de noirs’ means ‘white from black’, i.e. white wine made with black (red) grapes only, and while the 2015 is starting to open up now, with its cool minerality and tangy, red fruit notes and spice, if you lay it down for another year or so, you will see it truly blossom. RRP £38 from Harrowandhope.com

Pink English Fizz

Ambriel Rosé 2014 – Sussex

There’s something unique about the wines from Ambriel – a relative newcomer on the English wine scene. Based on the sunny South Downs in Sussex, Wendy and Charles Outhwaite have swapped a hectic, legal life for a slice of countryside heaven, complete with tiny sheep (ouessants) who graze between the vines during the winter. Ambriel bubbles have the class of champagne with an undeniable English accent thanks to a slightly unusual way of making sparkling wine, using skin contact rather than blending red wine with white. The result for The Ambriel Rosé 2014 is vibrant, ripe and juicy wine, packed with wild strawberry fruit and a moreish leafy aroma. Wendy describes it as ‘an English garden party in a glass’ and I wholeheartedly agree. I had to double-check the price as it’s worth twice this… RRP £26.95 from Corney & Barrow

Hambledon Premiere Cuvée Rosé – Hampshire

Hambledon, to my mind, have been leading the charge in Hampshire, if not the whole of England, with richer styles of sparkling wines that have been grabbing headlines. Having released their elegant, classic cuvée rosé last year to great applause, this year’s offering is a quirky, very limited edition of pink made with 100% Pinot Meunier – the grape that even in Champagne is usually only used in blends and even then, only in small quantities. Deep pink, almost red in fact, with an intriguing, smoked meat quality balanced by ripe, morello cherry notes, this sparkler is bone try with a wonderful sappy texture and toastiness. Beguiling and unique, you could easily match this with meat dishes too. Grab a bottle if you can find it! RRP £69 from Hambledon Vineyard Website

Tasting Terroir: Wakefield ‘Jaraman’ Chardonnay

They say the more you know about a subject, the more you enjoy it and nowhere is this more true than with the wonderful world of wine. Understanding what makes a Chardonnay (for example), from one region of a country different to one from another is not just the key to finding  - and remembering - your favourite styles of wine; it is the thing that turns wine drinkers into wine lovers. Chardonnay is never just Chardonnay. Cabernet is never just Cabernet. The exact combination of natural elements in the vineyards where the grapes were grown such as soil type, topography and climate, will add a unique characteristic to the final wine, be it in aroma, flavour, texture or all three. The word that sums up all these unique elements is ‘terroir’; a word that once understood, opens up a world of delight to anyone who enjoys wine as they explore grapes and bottles from all over the world. 

Wakefield Wines and their terroir

Australia is well known for its wine making prowess with numerous, diverse wine regions, each with its own distinctive style thanks to its unique terroir. One family-owned, Australian wine producer called Wakefield, has long understood the importance of this and have created a range that showcases the distinctive characteristics of some of Australia’s iconic wine regions using the grapes that region is well known for. This is their Jaraman range, named after the Indigenous word for ‘seahorse’, as fossilised seahorses were found in Wakefield’s Clare Valley property from when the area was submerged by an inland sea eons ago.

What is the Wakefield Jaraman range?

The Taylor family, based in the Clare Valley with their own vineyards, have owned Wakefield for three generations. For their Jaraman range, the winemakers source parcels of the best fruit available from their vineyards in Clare Valley, but also from other iconic regions such as Coonawara and Margaret River, gently hand crafting them into wines that preserve and enhance the distinctive characteristics from those places. 

The Jaraman Chardonnay

The Jaraman Chardonnay takes grapes from Margaret River and Clare Valley and blends them to create an unbelievably delicious drink when the whole is even greater than the sum of its parts. With a searing, lime citrus, freshness and intense aromatics of ripe melon, nectarine and pineapple together with an almost flinty, mineral core, this is an incredibly complex wine that manages to say so much, but quietly. Elegantly. The Clare Valley fruit offers a characteristic fleshiness, while the Margaret River Chardonnay throws in moreish, guava and fresh figs notes. A gentle amount of oak brings everything together and adds a light, creamy texture and a hint of warm spice.

Find it at Majestic for £17.99 (£15.99 mix six price).

Read about the Jaraman Cabernet Sauvignon here. 

Father's Day Gift Ideas For Drinks Lovers

Words by Helena Nicklin

Every dad is different as is every son or daughter. What can you give him that showcases his personality or yours? Here is our pick of some delicious drinky gifts that will suit the wine lover dad, the beer explorer or spirits connoisseur. Bottoms up and Happy Father’s Day!

The Wine Lover

A selection of half bottles

If your dad is like mine, he will eye you suspiciously when presented with a 75cl bottle of wine as he’ll expect it’ll need to be shared! Show your dad his gift is just for him with a pair or selection of half bottles of wine. Louis Jadot makes some beautifully approachable Burgundian Chardonnay and Pinot Noirs (available in Tesco), or you can take your pick from a range by half bottle specialist, the Little Fine Wine Company. 

The English Fizz Fanatic

Roebuck Estates Blanc de Noirs, 2015

Roebuck is one of the newest English wine estates who stormed onto the scene with their inaugural, classic cuvée 2014. This new wine from the Estate located near Petworth in Sussex, is made exclusively from hand-picked Pinot Noir grapes from the 2015 vintage that were grown in their Roman Villa vineyard. With its smart, hand drawn black and gold label, it looks as good as it tastes with an alluring perfume of red berries and apple skin with beautifully balanced notes of orchard fruit and brioche. Exceptionally poised and elegant. Drinking now but will keep for several years. 

Find it for £45 from Roebuckestates.co.uk

Monthly Wine Delivery

Feel Good Grapes

How about a wine club where each bottle has been handpicked by the team for being not only delicious, but organic or biodynamic and sustainable too! Feel Good Grapes are keen to only work with producers who understand their impact on the earth and they are so dedicated to the cause that they also offset the carbon footprint from all their deliveries AND plant a tree for every bottle of wine sold. The buying team are expert tasters too, so you can feel extra good about the wines you're drinking.

From £20 a month to £200 at Feel Good Grapes

The Gin Genie

Fifty Pounds Gin

This super smart bottle houses a rather exceptional London Dry Gin. Triple filtered, it’s incredibly smooth with a range of complex flavours that jump out, as if wrapping the juniper in a delicious, scented scarf from sage to lemon peel, gentle spice and liquorice. The name alludes to the 1736 Gin Act in London, when if you wanted to produce and sell Gin, a 50 pound tax was levied. It’s not surprising many went underground! 

RRP £34.45 from Master of Malt

The Beer 

The Original Small Beer Company

The Small Beer Company have brought back the old tradition of Small Beer, which used to be drunk instead of water as it was safer, back in the London Streets of the 1700s. Brewed to a maximum of 2.8 percent as it always used to be, Small Beer is isotonic with trace elements left in rather than dehydrating so it’s actually rather good for you (can we say that?!) There are four styles to choose from: Lager, Session Pale, Steam and Dark Lager, but you can also try a handy four pack of 330ml bottles - and it makes the perfect gift.

Find the gift pack for £15 from the originalsmallbeer.com

The Spirits Aficionado

Glencairn Crystal Glassware

The ‘Glencairn’ has become to-go to glass not just for whisky, but most neat spirits nowadays. Endorsed by the Scotch Whisky Association, its unique shape was crafted to allow the fullest appreciation of the whisky from the nose to the palate.. The glass now comes in many styles, uncut or hand cut, a price that will suit all budgets. Enter the code DADSDRAM20 to receive a Father’s Day 20% discount too!

RRP from £6 a glass, go to Glencairn.co.uk

The Cognac Connoisseur

Cognac Frapin Millésime 1992 -26 years old 

With a limited release of just 3000 bottles, this stunning 1992 vintage is the latest addition to Frapin’s collection of rare vintage cognacs, where it has been gently ageing in the dry cellars on the Frapin estate. Bright in colour with an elegant, floral nose and palate of prune, apricot and liquorice, this is an elegant, complex cognac and an excellent ambassador of the Frapin house style.

Find it for from £145 to £160 from Master of Malt

The Rum Romantic

Drum & Black Spiced Rum

The new generation of dark rums on the scene are to die for and England is knocking it out of the park with some new brands! Dad will love this one from Drum & Black with its eye-catching bottle and brooding, sweet notes of coffee bean, vanilla, honey, dark chocolate and orange peel. Try it alone over ice or as a ‘Mule Noir’ with a sprig of mint and some ginger beer (The team recommend Fentimans).

Find it for £33.75 from Master of Malt. 

The Whisky Collector

Buffalo Trace Bourbon

Buffalo Trace is a much-loved, American distillery that has been making Bourbon whiskey the same way for more than 200 years. It has a deep, rich, amber colour with a complex aroma of vanilla, mint and molasses. Sweet but not cloying, with notes of brown sugar and spice, subtle oak, toffee and dark fruit, it’s a warming, easy-going whiskey with a long, smooth finish. There’s a competition too! You can enter your father to win a Buffalo Trace home bar! See their social platforms for details @BuffaloTraceUk.

Find the whiskey for £23.99 from Master of Malt.

Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban 14 Years Old

Glenmorangie is one of our all time favourite Scotch distillers and is renowned for pioneering the art of extra- maturation. For this single malt, the whisky is first aged in bourbon casks, then finished in ruby port pipes and barriques from Portugal. Quinta Ruban is a bold and velvety, 14-year-old Highland whisky, with unctuous flavours of orange and dark chocolate.

Find it for £49.95 from Master of Malt

John Crabbie & Co, single cask 1994 25-Year-Old Island Malt (247 bottles only)

SPLASH OUT! Appealing to top-end collectors particularly, this special, sherry-cask whisky is dark gold, with rich notes of fruitcake, orange peel, dark chocolate and smoky spice. It comes with its own elegant presentation box too. Distilled at the Tobermory Distillery, the Crabbie 1994 Island Single Malt has been matured for 25 years in an ex-sherry hogshead. Each bottle is non-chill filtered, naturally coloured and bottled at 46.2% ABV.

RRP £300. Please email john.kennedy@johncrabbie.com for enquiries.

For more drinks round ups, check out Best Bang for Buck Sipping Bourbon, The Best Wines to have Chilled and 7 Great French Rosé Wines for Summer.

Wakefield Wines 'Jaraman' Cabernet Sauvignon

Words by Aidy Smith

You know what I love seeing? A winery that has a built a global reputation of success and is still very much family owned. That’s the story of Wakefield Wines, who in 2017 when this particular wine was produced were given the title of ‘World’s Most Awarded Winery’. A testament to the hard work they’ve put in over three generations and a stamp of approval for their delicious wines with which have now graced our glasses for over fifty years.

For those less familiar, located in the heart of Clare Valley, Wakefield Wines was founded in 1969 by Bill Taylor Senior, a publican turned wine merchant who took his love of the grape to a whole new level. With his knowledge of the area, Bill began to plant vines in the perfect limestone soils for this cool climate region. Decades later, what was originally just 178 hectares of vineyards has continued to grow, allowing the winery to become one of the most highly esteemed producers in Australia.

The Jaraman range: a taste of terroir

This brings us to the Jaraman range, one of the more recent additions to their portfolio and in this case, the rich and juicy Cabernet Sauvignon. The word ‘Jaraman’ means seahorse in the Indigenous language and refers to when the family discovered tiny seahorse fossils found buried within the vineyards of Wakefield’s Clare Valley properties. Completely submerged by an inland sea for millions of years, the discovery of these little fossils when creating their dams on the property became the inspiration behind the company’s emblem.

This bespoke collection of wines was created to showcase a unique sense of terroir and regional expression. Australia has a massively diverse make-up of wine regions, so Adam Eggins, Wakefield’s winemaker of over 20 years decided to take grapes from two exceedingly quality driven areas – Coonawarra and Clare Valley. Doing so has allowed the family to blend the sumptuous ripe fruits and fine tannins of Clare Valley with the fine tannins and velvety mouthfeel we have come to associate with Coonawarra.

The result? A touch of French oak when ageing lends way to flavours of dark stewed plum, blackberry and blackcurrant with a smooth milk chocolate and tobacco. Great structure meets delicate tannins before the story comes to a finale with its soothing blackberry finish. This is my wind down wine at the end of the day, eagerly awaiting that moment of pure satisfaction as the first sip touches your taste buds. It helps that this wine goes wonderfully with just about anything you’re eating, meat, fish or vegetables, too.

Winery: Wakefield Wines
Grapes: Cabernet Sauvignon
ABV: 14.5%
Size: 750ml

Buy now from Majestic £17.99 a bottle of £15.99 (mixed case deal)

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The Best Red Wines To Have Chilled

Some red wines are perfect for chilling in this warmer weather. It’s certainly true that some wine grapes and wine styles work better than others when it comes to what goes in the fridge, so here’s what you need to know:

Tips for drinking chilled red wine

• Chilled, not cold. No red wine will sing when it is too cold, so really, you want about 45 mins max in the fridge. Avoid ice cubes in your glass too. 

• Avoid heavy, dry tannic wines and oaky wines.

• Fruity styles of wine work best.

Some grape varieties are naturally more fruity and less tannic than others, so get to know them and the styles of wine they make. Here are some to look out for: 

Pinot Noir 

A Pinot Noir (the grape) from just about anywhere will be a good shout for a chilled red wine thanks to its high acidity and thin skin that gives very little tooth-drying tannin. The lightest styles tend to come from the Burgundy region (aka Bourgogne) and the likes of Germany, where it's also known as Spätburgunder. Richer styles will come from warmer climates such as Casablanca Valley in Chile or Sonoma in California. Try these:

Bargain: Irresistible Casablanca Valley Pinot Noir, Chile, 2019, £8 from CO-OP
Juicy, concentrated blackcurrant and plum spice with a cool, raspberry leaf tang.

Splash out: Bernard Moreau, Bourgogne, 2019, £18.
A brilliant, entry level red Burgundy with ripe strawberry, crunchy red berry fruits and a touch of spice and earthiness. 

Gamay

The Gamay grape is not that well known, though you will have certainly heard of the French wine region that specialises in wines made with it: Beaujolais. Gamay is even thinner skinned than Pinot Noir and can make some very fruity, juicy wines that can taste of bananas and strawberry bubblegum. If you want something a little more serious however, you can move up the Beaujolais quality ladder from Beaujolais Nouveau at the bottom, up to Beaujolais, then Beaujolais-Villages and finally, the top of the tree, one of the 10 Beaujolais ‘Cru’ villages. These ‘Cru’ are a little more savoury and serious - more akin to a Burgundian Pinot Noir, but a touch lighter and more raspberry-scented and leafy. They each have their own subtle differences and offer excellent value for money. From North to South, look for these ‘Cru’ names: Saint-Amour, Juliénas, Chénas, Moulin-à-Vent, Fleurie, Chiroubles, Morgon, Régnié, Brouilly and Côte de Brouilly. Try these:

Bargain: Chiroubles Beaujolais Cru 2018, £10 from CO-OP.
Lovely, crunchy wine with raspberry compote spice and a subtle hint of grilled meat. 

Splash-out: Fleurie Clos Vernay Domaine Lafarge Vial 2014, £33
The most floral and perfumed of the Crus, this Fleurie boast violets, rose and raspberry notes. A little more grippy than some Fleuries, the extra age on this wine has softened it just enough to make it work well when chilled.

Cabernet Franc

This is a grape that is coming back into fashion with a bang. In its Old World Home in the Loire Valley, France, it makes crunchy, light reds with notes of redcurrant and, I kid you not, pencil shavings! This Loire style tends to be better for chilling than its New World versions, (which pack a lot more power and tannin), though they can be a bit austere for some. Some appellations in the Loire are famous for Cabernet Franc, so look for those on the label as the grape may not appear: Saumur-Champigny, Chinon, Bourgueil and Saint-Nicolas-de-Bourgueil. Cabernet Franc is also a fixture in Bordeaux, but you will rarely see it as anything other than a relatively small part of the blend. Try these:

Bargain: Chinon, Lulu Lalouette, 2019, £12.99 (£9.99 mix six price) from Majestic.
Of a style, but if you know what you’re getting with Loire Cabernet Franc, you will enjoy this for its fragrant, smoky notes and dried redcurrant palate. 

Splash-out: St-Nicolas-de-Bourgueil Les Graviers Domaine du Bourg 2018, £17.25 from Corneyandbarrow.com
A touch fuller in body than the Chinon with riper, red fruit, this is a classy, old school, French red with smoky, graphite notes. Delicious.

Sparkling Shiraz

You cannot think about chilled reds and barbecues without thinking of sparkling Shiraz. This is a style of wine that tends to come from Australia only and it works so well thanks to the richer, fruitier styles of Shiraz that come from here. They are full-bodied without being too tannic and full of jammy, spicy plum fruit and liquorice notes. This is the wine you should reach for when pairing with flavoursome, grilled steaks and beef burger etc. as it has a little grippiness. Try this:

Majella, Sparkling Shiraz, £28.50 from Vivino
Lush, velvety and chocolatey, this wine is like a bar of fruit and nut in liquid form. Beautiful balance and not too sweet,  it's serious as well as quirky. Definitely the best we’ve tasted. 

Red Lambrusco

No, don’t turn away! This is not the Lambrusco you are thinking of that harks back to the sweet and syrupy wines of the early Spice Girls days. Lambrusco is a lot more serious now - and a lot drier. Seek out an artisanal red one for a lighter-bodied, frothy vino with moreish, yeasty notes that’s an epic match with Italian cold cuts, buffalo mozzarella and the like. Try this:

Vecchio Moro Lambrusco, Grasparossa, Rinaldini. £12.50 from The Wine Society
Deep purple and packed with ripe fruit flavours and dried herb notes, this has an intriguing breadiness and tastes drier than it smells. A lovely frothy fizz really refreshes the palate. An excellent lunchtime red for summer. 

For more mouth-wateringly good wine content, including our one-minute wine guides to the different grape varieties out there follow this link!

One Minute Wine Ace: Cabernet Sauvignon

You can generally presume that all professional, male rugby players have certain elements in common: they are full in body, fairly heavy and well structured. There are forwards who pack a slightly bigger punch and backs who are a tad more refined and lean, but generally speaking, you can always tell a rugby player a mile off, no matter where in the team they play. It’s the obvious build and all those purpley-black bruises that do it! And with all their years of training and experience, you can take a bet that their playing quality is going to be pretty reliable, no matter which country it is that they play for. They also tend to need a few years to chill out and mellow…

Yes, Cabernet Sauvignon is the professional rugby player of the wine world. This heavy-duty grape variety has the thickest skin of all the grapes, giving it lots of tooth-drying tannin and plenty of brawn! ‘Cabernet’, as it’s often known, is a hardy, well-structured grape that makes pretty reliable wine just about anywhere. This is why you can find it all over the world now. When at its very best, it can sometimes take a few years to mature, so bear that in mind when you’re picking one out. Look for a concentrated, dark blue-black and purple colour with distinctive, spicy blackcurrant and cedar flavours. In some cases, you’ll also spot a telltale minty or eucalyptus note, which is often a hint that it’s from a warmer climate.

CABERNET SAUVIGNON TASTING TOUR

Cabernet Sauvignon makes pretty reliable wines from many places globally, but here are four key styles to start your journey with,

Cabernet 1: Be prepared to spend some cash and head to Bordeaux, France: the Old World home of Cabernet, where it’s usually blended with Merlot among other grapes. Look for one from the Left Bank of the river Gironde for a classic earthy, cedary number that’s Cabernet dominant. Heard of Chateau Margaux? That’s a Cabernet-dominant, Left Bank Bordeaux wine.

Try: Château de Lamarque, Haut-Medoc, 2015 for £22.95 from Corneyandbarrow.com.

Cabernet 2: Compare your Bordeaux with a Cabernet Sauvignon from Coonawarra in Australia for a fuller-bodied, juicier version with tonnes of ripe blackcurrant and a characteristic mint and eucalyptus twang. Coonawarra is one of Cabernet’s classic, New World homes. 

Try: Wakefield Jaraman Cabernet Sauvignon for £17.99 or £15.99 mix six price from Majestic.

Cabernet 3: At a similar price and standard to Bordeaux, you could also try some serious Cabernets from Napa Valley, California for a style that is somewhere between the two above: big wines made in a Bordeaux style, but with a pleasing extra dollop of fruit.

Try: Illustrious Cabernet Sauvignon 2018, £36 a bottle or £32.40 mix 6 price from Laithwaites.

Cabernet 4: For something a little more entry-level price wise, check out what they can do with Cabernet over in the warm Colchagua Valley in Chile. Here, Cabernets are about full-on, sweeter, blackcurrant-scented wines with a savory, smoky kick. You can get some great ones for £6 or so but there are also some super-serious wines coming out of Chile too. 

Try: Montes Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon, Chile, £9 from Coop.

Like this? Try our other One Minute Wine Ace articles on Pinot Noir, Chardonnay, Cotes du Rhone and Sauvignon Blanc.