Would you invest in Vagina Beer?

Would you invest in Vagina Beer?

It’s the first of its kind in the world, folks! And quite possibly the last, but we thought you needed to hear this story. It’s all about a company raising funds on Indiegogo to make beer using yeast swabbed from a beautiful woman’s vagina. Yes. Her vagina. Something tells me the #MeToo message never got to the producers in Poland.

Welcome to Yoni Beer. Yoni is sanskrit for vagina. Don’t confuse it with yogi (or beer with bear for that matter, that would be awkward). Anyway, this delightful idea is all about getting a bit closer to have a date with a ‘goddess’; the woman of your dreams. They say:

“Imagine the beer of which every sip is a randez-vous (sic) with this hot woman of your dreams… she hugs you and kiss you (sic) gently, looking straight into your eyes… How much would you give for that beer?”

Well, how much would you pay for a vagina yeast beer?

I’d offer -£47.50 a bottle, but that’s just me. The team are asking for £150,000 to create 6  batches of 16,600 cans of Yoni beer on the crowdfunding website. At the moment, they are up to £1,390, so a little way to go. Perhaps you’d like to help them?

Who’s Vagina am I tasting?

Did I really just write that? Sorry. You’ll want to know who’s lady parts were swabbed for this project though, I’m sure. At the moment, there are two classy models who very, most definitely, are not porn stars. 

Pauline is one of the models for Yoni beer. Photo by Yoni beer for Indiegogo

It’s all legit though. There’s a swab date on each and every bottle that tells you exactly when the ‘goddess’ had that cotton bud up her vagina. That’s provenance, that is. And how do they do it?

“Using hi-tech of microbiology, we isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria from vagina of an unique woman (sic). The bacteria, lactobacillus, transfers woman’s features (sic), allure, grace, glamour, and her instincts into beers and other products, turning them into a dance with lovely angel.”

Lucky you. 

Would you invest? Tweet us @the3drinkers!

Mindful Drinking: Premium no and low alcohol drinks you'll want to sip all evening

With Lent now in full swing after Dry-January and as we slowly head up to Sober October, times of abstention from alcohol are so much easier to bear now thanks to a new wave of truly delicious, premium, non-alcoholic drinks. Some of these no and low beverages are simply lower alcohol versions of what we would like to drink anyway; some plant themselves clearly as alternatives to alcohol and others, cleverly, describe the enemy simply as ‘bad soft drinks’. Whether you can’t drink or are just trying to be more mindful of your alcohol intake, here are some delicious drinks that feel like a treat to taste. 

BEER

Lucky Saint
Alcohol: 0.5% 

This is a bubbly beer that actually tastes like a fully fledged, flavoursome full-alcohol beer. In a slow and meticulous process, Lucky Saint delicately extracts the fermentable sugars from the mash as temperatures increase and leave it unfiltered  to keep all the flavour and complexity. The beer is then distilled in a vacuum, which avoids the burnt and oxidised flavours many other non alcoholic beers have. I tested it with a bunch of beer drinkers and we all thought it was the best ‘non alcoholic’ beer we’ve’ tried (0.5% is considered to be alcohol-free). Now available on draught too.

Find it on Amazon or luckysaint.co for £25 for 12 x 330ml

Small Beer Co.
Alcohol content: 1%-2.8% 

The Small Beer company have ingeniously revived the lost tradition of creating ‘small beer’ that was popular in the 1700’s, when drinking water was dangerous. These are very low alcohol beers brewed between 0.5 and 2.8%. All under 3%, these beers are isotonic, so they are actually good for you! Tonnes of flavour without the hangover. There are four to choose from: Lager, Dark lager, Steam, and Session Pale. See our longer article on them here. 

Find them on Ocado or theoriginalsmallbeer.com for £2.15 per bottle (350ml). £11.99 for 6.

WINE-LIKE

Woodstar
Alcohol content: 1% 

This unique tipple looks like a wine and definitely does the job of wine, but it’s made with açai berries, blackcurrant and blueberries infused with cocoa extract instead of grapes. The result is a moreish, grippy, wine-like red juice. The small amount of alcohol comes from the açai berries being steeped in macerated in alcohol for twelve weeks to help release colour and flavour.

Find it Fortnum & Mason and Sainsburys for £8.50 (75cl).

Aecorn Aromatic
Alcohol content: 0% 

The three Aecorn drinks could be described as aperitifs and are made with wine grapes (Pinot Noir and Chardonnay). They are more silky and full-bodied than wine and you can drink them neat, chilled or with a splash of sparkling water as a spritzer. The most wine-like (and my favourite) is the ‘aromatic’, which is warm, woody and smoky. They also have a ‘bitter’, which reminds me of Campari and a ‘dry’, which is more for Sauvignon Blanc or Gin lovers.

£19.99 from aecorndrinks.com

Everleaf

Everleaf is the result of two passions for founder, Paul Mathew: bartending and botany. A conservationist biologist by trade, Paul wanted to create an aperitif that was plant-based and uplifting with warmth and aromatics. In Everleaf, you’ll find notes of vanilla, gentian, vetiver and orange blossom. There’s even the essence of voodoo lily in there. I’ve no idea what voodoo lily is, but I like the sound of it. Serve with Mediterranean tonic or use in cocktails like non-alcoholic negronis.

Find it on everleafdrinks.com and Sainsburys for £18 

SPIRIT

Hayman’s Small Gin

A great concept, this is a gin with a regular amount of alcohol in it BUT the botanical flavours are so concentrated, you only need - literally - one thimble full for your G&T to taste pucker. They even provide the thimble hanging around the bottle neck. It’s not the strongest, most powerfully flavoured gin, but it definitely does the job. What this means is that you can mix a normal gin and tonic but only consume  0.2 units of alcohol and 15 calories. A great, lower alcohol -and calorie- option.

Find it at Waitrose for  £25 (20cl)

SPIRIT-LIKE

Caleño

A happy, tropical, non-alcoholic spirit, which is actually rather tasty by itself over ice, Caleño makes a stonking, more fruity version of something like a Gin and Tonic. Created by Ellie Webb and inspired by her Colombian heritage, this is an infusion of juniper and inca berry with spice and citrus. There are some fantastic mocktail recipes on the site too. 

Find it at calenodrinks.com for £18.88 (50cl) £24.99 (70cl)

Seedlip Garden

The original, premium, non-alcoholic spirit, Seedlip Garden is the go-to herbaceous choice when you don’t want a Gin and Tonic and soft drinks are too dull. Have over ice with a spritz of any tonic, garnish with mint or basil and you’re away. It’s super refreshing and has that all important bitterness to kill any cravings for alcohol.

Find it at Waitrose for £26.50 (70cl)

TOTALLY UNIQUE

Three Spirit 

There is no category to put these in, but I love them. Three styles of plant-based alternatives to alcohol with a different attitude, that, as they say ‘celebrates what you put into a drink, rather than what you take out.’ Using plants traditionally used in potions and ceremonies around the world, these are non-alcoholic drinks 'with benefits’ such as the addition of ashwagandha to relax in Nightcap or guayusa, guava leaf and green tea in Livener. It’s alchemy, it’s different and delicious. You’ll want to keep the bottles too. 

Memento

Somewhere between a non-alcoholic spirit and a flavoured water, Memento is super dry in taste, like pure water that’s been infused gently with rosemary, verbena and other botanical elements. Inspired by a publication from 1498 that tells of the benefits of blending botanical essences, Memento is very refreshing and pretty bitter. It fares better in cocktails than alone in my opinion, or even just with a spritz of lemonade. 

FInd it at mementodrink.com for 30€

By Helena Nicklin

Watch The Three Drinkers do Scotch Whisky now streaming on Amazon Prime.

Brewdog Beer Hotel

Now here is some news that pricked up our ears quite a bit - Brewdog has a hotel! In fact, it doesn’t just have this hotel, it’s actually got one in Columbus, Ohio and Aberdeen too! If you want to find this incredible hotel, it’s situated in Manchester and is aptly named the ‘DogHouse’.

The rooms feature a myriad of incredible pieces, including Brewdog branded bathrobes, funky neon lights, stylish furniture, comfy beds, bluetooth speakers and even a guitar! There’s also a separate section inside the shower to house ‘shower beer’, which you can have stocked with any Brewdog beer you like! You’ll soon wonder what you did without an in-shower beer fridge (that is until you go home and have to suction cans to the wall to have the same experience).

However, that isn’t even the best bit - no, we’ll get to that… First, we must ask a question. Have you ever walked into a hotel room and wanted a draft beer but didn’t want to go back down to the bar? Well if you’re in the DogHouse tonight you won’t even need to think of an answer because (yes) right there in your room is a DRAFT BEER TAP. Right there. Ready to pour. Twenty. Four. Seven. On second thoughts, that might be dangerous, especially with the great taste of Brewdog…

If you’re getting tired of pulling your own pints (or sticking your head under the tap), there’s also a large Brewdog bar and restaurant downstairs and another on the roof! With 30 taps of craft beer, you definitely won’t get bored. DogHouse is looking to be a pretty revolutionary hotel, but with only 19 rooms, you’ll have to be quick to book a room as we have a feeling they’ll be going fast!

We’re loving the idea of a beer-themed hotel (especially with those in room draft taps), so here’s hoping Brewdog opens even more!

Here’s where you can book a stay at the ‘Hoppiest Place on Earth’: Book Here